Why do I live in NYC?

Life in New York City has disadvantages: tourists, crowds, traffic, noise, sky-high prices, grime, the MTA, commercialism, etc, etc, etc. So why do we do it? Why do we stay? Or return?


It’s the people. In just a few weeks being back in the city, my list of people with whom I need to reconnect has gotten longer rather than shorter and the people whom I want to see again and again keep making their way to the top of that ever-growing list. I may run into someone or remember another person who lives in Brooklyn (aka a different planet), whom I haven’t seen in 7 years, but those to whom I am growing close are so dear. 


It takes a lot to see friends in the city: the motivation to type that message and propose a rendez-vous, the coordination of schedules and, if you don’t live or work in the same neighborhood, the coordination of location and commute times. You have to start figuring out who your people are: those who respond quickly and enthusiastically to the invitations that cost you 10% of your social energy for the day (if you are an introvert or someone who doesn’t like to keep their nose stuck in their phone), those with whom you feel comfortable to let your guard down around and to be vulnerable with (something I have been learning a lot about in the past year), those who you leave feeling energized and inspired…


Some days are really hard: rejection, loneliness, boredom, lack. Some days it takes all your creativity to keep yourself out of a funk. Those are the best days to connect with your soul mama Linda and go to high tea. Your soul sister Yvette for Korean food and the unexpected unloading of grief. Or your soul sharers, those artists who want to create with you and dig into big projects. You have hope again.


You can be having a sluggish, not great, not highly-motivated day, but seeing one of those friends or making good music can free you from the damper of your day. What magic and power of community, collaboration, shared emotional spaces! Over the piano, a cup of tea, a shared pot of brothy soup, or a bottle of autumnal stout (and maybe a seasonal cocktail to boot). I keep learning more and more about myself and I am so thankful for the people helping me along the way. 


Beyond the people who make NYC bearable, there are also the experiences: friends’ bridal showers blocks away from Times Square, Drag Brunches for your cousin’s birthday, High Tea near Gramercy Park, walking through Central Park while speaking in weird/bad accents in the pouring rain, and art from around the world coming to the concert house a mile from your UWS sublet that you can share with a colleague who just flew in from Minnesota. 


That’s the blog for this week.


Well, I have to add-on that this high tea with Linda at Lady Mendl’s was so special! From the moment we walked in, the decor screamed fancy whimsy and we were in heaven! Then we enjoyed tea and all the fixings of a proper afternoon tea: finger sandwiches, scones and clotted cream, cake, and best of all, meaningful conversation.


And, for the sake of continuity, I write to you from the road: from downtown Wilmington, DE, where I will be performing a life-giving, soul-nourishing program of great songs by Debussy, Schumann and Fauré tomorrow afternoon with Aurelien Eulert, one of those musicians with whom collaboration is a very special, heart-filled process. 


Peace, my friends.


Marie on the Road

Marie Engle